What? Advent calendars with presents for adults? Wha . . . ???

Having a little trouble wrapping my head around the upswing in Advent calendars with pricey trinkets for adults. I suppose it's probably rooted in the slightly older with practice of Advent calendars that contain a tiny candy to pacify pesky children, but I'd like to hope we've evolved beyond that.

These things offer trial sizes of high-end cosmetics, perfume, wine, premium tea, or deluxe chocolates, or -- brace yourselves -- beef jerky flavored like peppermint taffy. I thought trial sizes, individual chocolates, and airplane-sized bottles of hooch were "stocking stuffers" in families that do stockings for adults?

Isn't this all getting to be a bit much? Aren't we all about to get absolutely showered in presents on or about December 25? MUST we have a gift every day for the whole month? Can we not, as people old enough to vote/drink/own property, restrain our greed for 24 days?

Look, there's nothing wrong with a little enhanced consumerism this time of year; after all, giving gifts is a tale as old as time, and it's wholly appropriate to the Christmas season. Nothing is more satisfying than thinking about someone, remembering what they've liked or needed over the past year, and hunting down (or making) just the right thing to delight them or meet a need. There's almost always something in the right price range for everybody, if it's given from the heart and for the right reasons. But I just don't think we need to placate our inner squalling four-year-old with a present every day for the better part of a month.

I'm sorry--truly-- if this is a little Grinchy, but COME ON. It's all very cute until all that packaging ends up in a landfill, and your poor friend has suffered the slings and arrows of unpalatable cheese bites or cleared a room with choking clouds of the wrong fragrance. And doesn't waiting to give or get a gift enhance the delight?

Much better, in my view, to do that "reverse Advent calendar" thing that's making the rounds -- for each day of December until 12/24, you put a non-perishable food item into a box and donate it to a food bank on Christmas Eve.

And so help me God, i will NEVER give anyone peppermint taffy-flavored beef jerky. Because I love you guys.